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Do’s
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1.
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Do make it positive. You get more benefit from starting something new and good than from quitting something old and bad.
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2.
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Do make it personal. Start a new habit about something that touches your heart, not something that showed up on someone else’s list of good things to do.
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3.
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Do make it present tense. Compose your resolution so that it sounds as if you already are doing it, not that you will at some vague point in the future.
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4.
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Do make it solo. Choose resolutions that do not require your partner’s cooperation for success.
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5.
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Do make it doable. Better to choose something very small and practical — that you can accomplish — than something large and impossible.
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Don’ts
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1.
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Don’t work in mine fields. Avoid resolutions about aspects of the relationship where conflict is constant. It’s too easy to mess up and make things worse.
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2.
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Don’t make ricochet resolutions. A ricochet resolution is one that you wish your partner would make, so you make it in hopes that they will. They won’t.
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3.
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Don’t go broad and general. Be specific, be small, be focused, think micro. That’s how you get real change.
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4.
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Don’t go overboard. Two or three resolutions are doable, 10 or 12 are guaranteed failure.
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5.
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Don’t give up. Think of your resolution as a learning opportunity, not a make or break fork in the road.
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