Listening Magic
Writing by Mark Rogers on Thursday, 8 of November , 2007 at 3:37 pm
Suppose that you were listening to the radio, and you heard an announcer say over dramatic music, “There’s magic when you’re mad that can make everything … every single thing… better… immediately. Instantaneously! … Instantly better…Are you interested?”
Would you be? Interested?
When you are in the middle of a screaming match, there’s magic that will calm things down.
When you are doing a slow burn, there’s magic that will release the tension without an explosion.
When your partner is raging, there’s magic that will smooth the waters.
Here’s the magic wand, the magic potion, the magic bean – someone says “I’m listening.”
That’s it. Just that one little thing.
“I’m listening.”
All it takes to defuse a drama is for one person to stop the back-and-forth of hand grenades and say “I’m listening.”
When the volume goes up beyond the normal range of conversation, all it takes to dial it down is for you to shift your contribution from the volley across the net to saying “I’m listening.”
If you say “I’m listening,” and then start to, you work magic on the madness.
You make it possible for your partner to ‘just talk’ instead of having to shout to be heard.
You make it possible for you to see another side of the issue, from your partner’s perspective, rather than insist that you are the only one entitled to be right.
You give your partner nothing to push against, nothing to overcome, nothing to resist, and then s/he can stop domineering.
When you say “I’m listening,” and then you stay quiet for at least three sentences, your partner doesn’t have to keep hammering on the same point.
And you can holster your verbal sidearm as well.
Magic for the madness – just to begin listening.
Category: General, Useful Tools, by Mark Rogers
- Add this post to
- Del.icio.us -
- Meneame -
- Digg
No comments yet.
