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Suppose you are in a heated discussion with your partner, and you are right.
Not sort of right, not right in your own eyes only, but wholly and completely right.
Your partner is wrong to accuse you, to attack you, and you have undeniable proof that not only are you right but that your partner is wrong, wrong, wrong.
You have a right to be angry.
You should decline.
It doesn't happen often, but it happens enough, that there is a right and a wrong side in an argument. When you get the upper hand, and you know that you are right and your partner is wrong, being angry is a natural, completely normal result.
However, it isn't good for you to go there.
When you have the right to be angry – or even when you don't – you might want to think carefully about what experience you are expanding.
Relationships are always expanding some kind of experience – you're getting more of something just because there's more than one of you. You are expanding happiness, or you are expanding frustration, or you are expanding tenderness, or you are expanding irritation.
Whenever you couple-up, you double-up the experiencing, and that's largely why we do coupling, isn't it? We want to share the sunset, the tune on the radio, the food that tastes so good. A good book discussed is a book twice read.
So when you have the right to be angry, ask yourself “I am entitled to anger, here, but is that the experience I want to be expanding now? It's my right, since I am right about this issue, but do I want to make more mad out of it? Isn't there something else, something more like happiness I'd like to be expanding now?
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