[Back to Article Listing]
Suppose that you were given a divine assignment.
Imagine that one morning, while you were driving down the road, suddenly your car floated up into the clouds and a deep voice told you that you were being given a new purpose in life. Your pre-existing missions, whatever they were, had now been superseded by the following prime directive: make your partner happy.
Imagine that the same deep voice explained that you would be richly and extravagantly rewarded for your efforts, if successful, but that there were some rules you had to follow. Your efforts at expanding your partner’s happiness could not be self-defeating – you would not be allowed to diminish your own happiness in the attempt. Nor could your efforts be so dramatic, so atypical that your partner would say “What’s this all about? What has happened to you?”
You would have to become a stealth happiness-generator. You would be permitted to invest any amount of time, energy, or attention you liked for this mission, but your budget for it would not be allowed to exceed what you spend on lunch everyday. And one last requirement, you could never talk to your partner about your mission directly, not even a little hint.
Just for a minute or two, think about what you would do, really. Seriously, stop right now… right now!... and just think, how could you expand your partner’s happiness, using nothing more than your resourcefulness and your lunch money, without making it obvious what you are doing?
You can’t solve all their problems, you can’t reprogram their past, you can’t therapize them to any significant degree. You can only do some little things. Maybe lots of them, but not too many. What could you do?
What expands your partner’s happiness?
You may not have the power to dramatically change much that causes your partner’s stresses and strains in life. But that doesn’t mean you are altogether powerless. You can use words to speak your heart. You can use flowers as a symbol. You can use music as a message. You can use objects made from pipe cleaners, post-it notes, and paper clipped articles from the newspaper. You can send a telegram, forward an email, invest in a mushy Hallmark card.
Don’t throw your hands up in despair when you can’t make major changes in the happiness quotient of your marriage overnight. Instead, embrace the power of the little thing.
Then do it every day, without fail. Because you’re on a mission.
[Back to Article Listing] |
